In Trouble? Just Find Jesus

I think it's pretty clear now that if you're in America and you find yourself in hot water your lawyer is going to suggest that you find Jesus, and that you announce it, fast!

Paris Hilton found Jesus pretty quickly once she'd landed herself in jail as did her friend Nicole Ritchie. I guess finding Jesus is the perfect way to call off the dogs (oops! I've given it away) and let them know that you're on the path to redemption. But Michael Vick the disgraced U.S footballer has found Jesus in record time.

After being caught out as the financier of Bad Newz (it's got a Z so you know it's cool) Kennels ,which operates dog fights for the amusement of insiders, and in being complicit in killing six to eight dogs for "under performing" he's all of a sudden found Jesus:

“I’m totally responsible, and those things just didn’t have to happen,”

“I feel like we all make mistakes. It’s just I made a mistake in using bad judgment and making bad decisions. And you know, those things, you know, just can’t happen.”

"Dogfighting is a terrible thing and I reject it ... I found Jesus and turned my life over to God. I think that's the right thing to do as of right now."

Oh piss off! I'm all for forgiveness but we shouldn't be taken for saps with this rubbish. Firstly, Vicks didn't make a "mistake". He didn't trip over and think "oops I just financed a dog fighting ring for six years and killed six to eight dogs via hanging or drowning!" These were callous premeditated acts over a lengthy period. Secondly, why didn't he find Jesus six, five or even one year ago? And where did he find him anyway?

On further reflection, it raises questions about Jesus' character considering he can apparently be found in jails all across the U.S. Kevin Andrews would be forced to deny him a visa on 'character grounds' surely.